Slap in the Face

“ If you really want to do this, don't create obstacles like this one”, he wrote. Perplexed, I rubbed my eyes and gave the email another read.



“Photography is hard. Equipment is often unimportant. Other are better than you. If you are afraid to be in an educational setting with others, you would be smart to find a new career” he continued.
And there it was- that exact statement I blogged about yesterday. The one I feared hearing- it was as if he read my post before responding to me.


“I'll be happy to take your money, but no amount of talent will help you if you don't have the courage to do something as simple as take a workshop.”


At first I was stunned- I mean who talks to a potential client like this?


As the morning went forward and unrealistic deadlines piled on my desk, I began to really think about this. I figured I had 2 choices-


1. I could shy away and let my emotions become bruised-


          or……


2. I could blog about how stupid I felt at first- reply back and blog about how inspired I feel now.


Mark Robert Halper is a successful LA commercial photographer specializing in celebrity portraits. Mark and his-brutally-honest-slap-in-the-face-self are totally AMAZING!!


So Mark, when your right your right… and YOUR right!

One day I’m going to hold my own next to an industry great like you . I am completely inspired and although you may never know this, my weirdness about workshops is over.


I may not have walked away from this as your best friend, but I did walk away with the belief that I will succeed.

Hello... My name is FABULOUS!

Anyone who meets me would agree I am NOT a shy girl…or a chicken for that matter. I laugh loud, speak loud and I am fearless. Ok, minus the fearless part.


For some reason I become such a weirdo when it comes to asking prominent photographers for help. I don’t get it! They were me at one point in their career so who better to understand?

Maybe it’s a fear of failure or fear of rejection or fear of saying something stupid as-my-jokes-are-oh-so-lost-on-many. Maybe my fear is that as a newbie I will not meet their expectations and they will send me home with my Nikon D70 and the “Maybe you should keep your career options open”, speech.

Whatever it may be its ridiculous! I SERIOUSLY need to get over this! Truth is I’d do anything to assist an awesome photographer! Wash their car, walk the dog…OR maybe I could just open-my-mouth-and-ask! For goodness sake I’m only asking for guidance here not to be the first shooter on a Kim Kardashian spread for Vogue Magazine!

Unfortunately, the side of my brain that wants to act and feel so cool is out of control! It’s possible I could embarrass myself by asking the instructor a stupid question like… I don’t know….” What is an aperture?” alright just joking, I actually know that answer!

The point is that I don’t know everything and I need to embrace that. Often times while trying to-suck-the-information- life out of these master photographers, the convo will be well on its way to lenses and settings and shutter speeds and composition, miles before my brain can process the next sentence after: “Hello, my name is Manda”!

That scares me.

SO the fabulous news for this week, I swallowed the nervous lump, walked out on a limb and offered myself as an assistant to an amazing Wedding Photography couple by the name of Joe and Mirta Barnet. http://www.barnetphotography.com/ They are more than amazing in my eyes! Everything about them I admire and long to be like. Just to gain a better understanding for what it is a photographer really does… would be an uber cool experience. I am set to assist them on a few weddings coming up and I am more than grateful.

I feel so inspired ! so happy !

And all the while this may not be a huge step for mankind- it is a HUGE step for Manda!

So to those of you who haven’t met me….Hello… My name is Fabulous!!

Are you there God? It's me, Manda.

We are all familiar with the Judy Blume novel. A young girl’s conflict with her issues of belief in God. I feel a sort of kinship with young Margaret- even at the age of 29.



Many times I have questioned where God wanted me to be in life. Sure, I am a loving mother to a beautiful, amazing and talented 7 (almost 8) yr. old little girl... and some would suggest that should be all the purpose I need in life....but would there be more?


Like, shouldn't I ALREADY be a famous photographer?


What about this overwhelming ache in my chest that is a constant reminder of all the things I have not done and have not succeeded at?


My dear friend Sarah Fisher of Fish Pilate’s (yes that was a plug) wrote on her Face Book page-


“ Focus on the journey not the destination”.


Although this quote may bring about the warm fuzzies when reading it- it’s not always easy when living it- and if I am going to focus on it- then I need to document it. (P.S. I love to use dashes and dots....! )


I look forward to the day I reflect back on this exact post with a humble heart- documenting all my mistakes and moments of weakness on the photographic road to becoming a starlet.


So this begins my journal and now begins my journey.


First stop- book a fabulous and reasonably priced workshop in Hollywood : )

Hello...? Is there anybody out there?

I have always wanted to be a famous photographer. SO... at 29 I decided.... what the hey ?

Here we go....turning our dreams into reality.... Don't get scared now.