Some may say I'm a dreamer.

I think sometimes we all need something that brings us back to “us”, “you” “me” on our very greatest days. Maybe it’s my mind, maybe it’s the rainy weather lately, maybe it’s random, but it’s been a while since I have really been able to bring myself to a time when I felt I was the better “me”. For some it’s easy, maybe it’s a childhood memory, or a book they can’t put down, for some, an inspiring day at church. Recently, I have been thinking to better days. Worry free days. When my heart and soul could soar… and land peacefully rather than crash into the depths of despair. Sounds dramatic I’m sure… not unusual for me.


A long time ago, a dear friend of mine introduced me to the power of positive thinking, to meditation and to the realization of manifesting my greater good. As I trace back the steps in my life I can see that I have been doing this all along. Everything I have ever wanted (good and unfortunately bad) I have received.

However, lately I have not been passionate about bringing good into my nervous world, and I know it’s time for a change. My poor mind has been going crazy over the past year because I search and search and have yet to find the one thing that would be my own contribution to beautifying the world.

So.. Here’s to a day of comforting my sweet soul..and the heart that I can access on my greatest days.



Since every post is better with a photo... here ya go!

Thursday.

Most of my life I have known I was destined to do something artsy. Something I loved. Something creative. I remember being 10 and flipping through the pages of my Aunt’s fashion magazines or her make-up portfolio and imaging what it would be like on the other end of those photos…taking the pictures or preparing the models for their poses…or styling their outfits.


I remember 13 and obsessing over Martha Stewart the way other 13 year old girls obsessed over boys, or lip gloss. I loved crafts and I remember decorating my father’s poor house with black and white checkered wallpaper… re-upholstering our furniture, painting our walls blinding colors and ooh those Gypsy beads! He was so supportive! I couldn’t IMAGINE letting Kaeley create such a Jackson Pollack on my living room walls!

As a kid, HOPE seems so simple, our DREAMS seemed so reachable. Somehow and surprisingly I think they may be true to who we really are today. Except for then, our adult fears didn’t hold us back. I wanted to be Julia Roberts in the movie 'Stepmom'. A young cheeky photographer, who rolls up on the set, cool, collected and produces the next Gucci ad campaign! Ha!

When I think back, I loooooved making things… from mud pies in the backyard… to real pies in the kitchen. From messes to masterpieces I perfected the things I loved to make. Until one day, I was old enough, un-scathed by adult fears, I opened my catering business. It was hard, but it was something I enjoyed. No matter the back aches, burns or bruises the end result was soul satisfying. People were happy and they kept coming back. For me. For my food. For my creations. Thank you.

... and since every post is better with a picuture...

Thoughts to Live By.

"Do not waste your life, because life is there-all you have to do is reach out and embrace it. Anything is possible. Whatever your dream is, make it happen. Have courage. Start today. You will be amazed what life will give you in return for a little bit of courage."  Mathew Kelly.

Bestiest.

There are some people who are completely impressive. People who you make you think and love and feel... people you are so completely grateful for. I met her in the 7th grade, she was the first friend I ever called on the phone. She was the first person I ever spilled my guts too. She is absolutely amazing to me, not only because she is a loyal to die for friend, but she is also the hardest working mom around.


She is my bestiest (yes bestiest) friend and I LOVE ,LOVE, LOVE her!

Jamie… I have been thinking about you all day because I know you are in Florida right now. You may never read this post in your busy days… but I would like to say my friend, you are a gorgeous and strong woman! You have had your fair share over the past several years but girl you are here…not there…. anymore…. and I am so proud of you!

The picture is so I won’t forget how much fun we had our birthday weekend in Vegas. How we turned 30. How happy you were. How tan you got. How you met my brother and Dave for the first time. How much I adore you!

Rain and Opinions.

To start… the sun is poking its head through my raining day which is making me sad. I love the rain. I love the dark days. I want the sun to go back to sleep. Just like I would like the opinions of others to lay to rest as well.

Ohh 16 held such better days…like most rebellious teens I could have cared less about the opinions of others… good I was grateful and bad I blew off. I knew what I wanted, how I felt about myself and where I was going. I carried my vibe through until my early 20’s. Sometime after my arrival in California, I lost that. I was in the perfect state, with perfect weather, perfect looking people, a place where “you’ll never find the dance floor empty”… all this perfection, and yet I had none of it surrounding me. Every negative opinion tore away another piece of me. The years went on and then enough was enough.

Several months back, I promised myself once I turned 30, that those opinions would no longer be a factor in my life and how I will chose to run it.

Be my friend if you want to be my friend and don’t if you don’t.

You don’t like the color I chose to paint my daughters toe nails? Then don’t look.

You can’t understand why I won’t eat meat or dairy but I’ll carry Fendi?  hmmm... you must not own a ‘Fendi’.

You don’t like tattoos? You don’t have too.

You say you’re a better parent than me? Maybe you are and congratulations.

Until next time...!

                         





Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The Rebels.

The Forest.

I cringe at the thought of not posting in while. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t let life little trials and tribulations stop me… but it seems they have. I may sound like a freak with an over whelming amount of anxiety… but whenever I feel something slipping away, all I really know how to do is run faster and harder to get to what I want and “fix” the situation rather than view things in a series of steps. I wish to see the forest through the trees, but at most moments that is not the case.

I would love to know the secret that others seem to possess… the secret to breathing. The secret to a balanced life. The secret ability to relax into a sheer pleasure. Of course, I would also love for some to just accept me. Universally I am not alone on that notion. Well Internet, I intend to get through my “ish” for the day… and hopefully you get through yours. If we are lucky… and hopeful, we can meet back here tomorrow in better spirits.

Halloween is my top holiday… and in true Spirit I decided to give some of my favorite people a little Zombie make over using Photoshop techniques such as Dodging and Burning, Merging images, Color Balance, Saturation and Liquefy…Enjoy!

My little Rouge lighting zapping daughter !

My DAD!!! haahaa!