happy list.

1. Flowers.. Roses to be particular. Red and purple to be even more specific


2. Food tastings

3. Anticipation

4. Vanilla Bean

5. My new lens

6. Aveda Shampoo

7. Short weeks/long weekends

8. Flavored lip gloss

9. Butterflies( the kind in your belly)

10. Happy people on the other end of my camera

we all have wings.

Looking past the techniques, I believe there are very important lessons that we have to teach ourselves- such as discovering what fuels our photographic fire. Trying to find that fire is not always easy. Then knowing what to do with it… Over the past few years, there have been many times that I have measured myself by others strengths, rather than my own. I would define myself based off where others were and what I thought I should be. Naturally I was left with the idea that my contributions were less than meaningful. But I was so wrong.


We can all take a generically good photo, having an image of something you find has purpose is another story. Of course I have a plethora of images that make no sense at all, and to anyone whose heartstrings aren’t attached would be quick to discard. Truth is they have meaning to me- it could be as simple as the image just means “I am getting better at this thing”. Fortunately, there is not a right or a wrong way, just an authentic way. We all have wings, and I intend to celebrate mine.

Although I am not much for nature photography and I would never knock those who are- I have to share a quote: “There are no rules for good photographs, there are only good photographs.” – Ansel Adams

 
 
 

Thursday.

Fear less, hope more.


Eat less, chew more.

Whine less, breathe more.

Talk less, say more.

Love more, and all good things will be yours.


~Swedish proverb

are we enough?

Yes. That is a rather big inquiry for this chilly afternoon in November.


As I have gone through my day, my lists and my loose ends I can feel myself getting a little down. I love to be positive but the battle in my mind at times remains. It would seem the busier I get the more confused I become. A completely sane person would feel accomplished! But not Manda. Instead all I can think of are future tasks, what I have neglected or what I need to change.

Please understand I have a very active mind. The dialogue in my head never rests and considering this is the most intimate of conversations we have (the ones with ourselves) this can either be sacred or destructive. Even though I have gotten better at filtering the negative words that flow through, there are still moments like today where I question who and what I want to be. I get confused with my photography because I want to be the best me possible, and at the same time do everything right.

Time for a little pick me up~ a little inspiration.

If you have never stopped to listen to the conversations in your head… you should. I have heard mine, and many times it’s broken my heart. It has taken me a very long time to get to a point where I can turn the volume down, or if I’m lucky, change the music.

Today I think we should encourage each other to treat ourselves with love. Fill our hearts and head with loving words and self- kindness. We are all worthy of what we dream for, we are enough.

The photos below were taken with my new lens and new camera! I have been waiting f.o.r.e.v.e.r. for my new equipment and I couldn’t be more positive about what’s to come!

tgif.

My mind is creatively locked. Every have one of those ridiculous dreams where you wake up in school and your still in your pajamas? Or naked? Well… lately that has been me. I fear I might still be in my pajamas. Or worse, naked.


Ok, well since I am lacking in the creative field… I think I will tell you 6 things you don’t know about me. Even if you know me, you may not know this!

So here we go:

1. If I was given a billion dollars right this second- I would drop whatever I am doing… and I mean WHATEVER and catch the next plane to New York and buy the exact apartment that Carrie and Mr. Big bought in SATC…I am OBSESSED with the closet!!

2. When I was little I used to pretend that all of my dolls were being attacked by Jason or Freddy Krueger. Can you believe how morbid that sounds?!

3. I get cold way too easily!! 70 degrees and I’m yelling for the heater!!

4. When I was growing up I either dreamed to be Martha Stewart or Sean Yseult~ the bassist for White Zombie. How extreme is that?

5. Someday I wish to open a bakery/stationery boutique. Kind of like Ashton Kutcher did in the movie Valentine’s Day. Only his was a bakery/ Florist shop.

6. I use way too much Splenda.

 
 

the good. the bad. the unknown.

I have been told an uber amount of times that I talk too much. Or I talk for too long. Or that I could actually have eaten a whole watermelon in the amount of time it takes me to describe one. PLEASE!! I do none of the above… maybe other people just don’t talk enough. Maybe it’s everyone else who could use a few dramatic interpretations and pauses in their daily dialogues! On the topic of talking too much, I have wondered a few times since starting my blog this year, if I would ever regret a posting. Unfortunately my blog is like my Face Book page- there isn’t a delay between my thoughts and fingers. The Publish Immediately Button couldn’t lock up fast enough.


On the keyboard of life there is no delete key. The backspace is always an afterthought and the ESC key only works a part of the time. I would like to consider it’s all just a part of my manda’ness’. I have been speaking my mind since I could put a sentence together. I have kept a journal for as long I could spell. I have always documented my thoughts the good, the bad and the unknown.



Beautiful Crystal D.

 
 

in love with love.

I am well aware that today’s thoughts may seem a bit unorganized. I had a beautiful written post about love that I have been working on for the past couple of days. My words were brilliantly arranged and flowed so gracefully- and as if the world sought to cause me more grief for the week, I accidentally deleted the whole thing this morning at work! Seriously, I am considering the pen and paper method after this!

Someone wrote to me recently, that being “ 'in love with love’ really means you are in love with infatuation. That the notion is a schoolgirls fantasy and immature at its core. That it’s a shallow love and narcissistic in nature." Those words were shattering to read, because I feel that love comes in different forms for different people. Everyone loves so differently, I know sometimes we expect each other to love the same. The way we would individually. I admit I’m guilty as charged.Often, I forget the masses don’t weight in on the same scale as I. "The inability to be patient combined with neediness". I describe it best as passionate. Emotional. Irrational. Ridiculous. I love love. That’s who I am, and I am not going to change. I couldn’t if I tried. 
What about words of love? Words require analysis and explanations, we often wonder what do they really mean? Well, maybe they mean nothing. The words ‘ I love you’ when striped away may be worthless to one person and mean everything to another. To me they are the construction of my soul. My thoughts. My heart. I must tell Kaeley I love her 300 times a day, in person, on the phone, via text messaging- and she is only 8! I never want her to forget, or to wonder.

One of the reasons I love wedding photography is getting to see different forms of raw love. Hearing it, seeing it and experiencing it with others. For those 14 hours of photographing a wedding, love is all around. And the first look? When a bride and groom get to see each other before everyone else? I love peering from behind a lens and seeing this magical love first hand, before anyone, before their friends, before their family. Ahhh... the butterflies... the fireworks! So maybe I am in love with love...my own and with others. Afterall Its a beautiful thing!

let LOVE shine!!!